I Fear a Fear

I wrote these lines in a flood of emotion in December 2012, when a young  girl was brutally raped in Delhi. She died subsequently having been assaulted with rods. The family and society continue to wait for justice. It is as relevant now as it was then.  

I Fear a fear

Does it have a name, this rage?

Anger so cold 

That is yet burning me.

As I struggle to make sense,

seek answers to questions

a torrent of doubts is drowning me.

I am gasping for breath.

There is a lump in my chest,

a sorrow that is choking me. 

The brutes, the man that does ravage,  

stays hidden, 

even kith and kin, 

yet inside a savage. 

Fathers and brothers, uncles be they may

shame them for being this way.

For smothering our lives, that should have been free 

for crushing us so brutally. 

They must be given a face

For only then will this surface. 

Only then will I become a cause

One that will bring a pause

In our mindless race

Towards lust, greed and disgrace.

I pray for a catharsis

A fire that will burn 

The evil amidst us

to never return.

But there is this lurking cynic

The demon, the serpent, the one  

That always mocks me. 

The one that brings me this fear,

A fear that is numbing me.

That you will forget 

soon as my soul ebbs away from me